2000-03-28

a fresh new entry, as i try to embark on some semblence of mental cohesion in this issue.

believe it or not, i am starting to feel bad... this is the kind of idiot i am.

i feel bad, because he needs to get his van fixed.

as if it is my problem.

i'll tell you how much more of an idiot i am: i already gave him 90 bucks to help him buy his books for school.

i act like his mother or something.

geezus.

i dunno.

i don't really understand any of it.

i am perplex-ed.

tho i am not in emotional stew over it anymore.

too busy at work, i guess.

today i had my first contact with the concept of ODBC.

i never thought i would have to deal with servers and virtual roots and all that shit.

vaguely interesting, but i am nervous at times, like today during the bug review... i start feeling over my head, and i get clausterphobic. cuz i get nervous. cuz i want to do a really good job.

i know in a few weeks, this will all be old hat and i won't be able to believe how i fretted over such sillines.

but getting there is going to be a bit difficult.

arghy.

emotional works. work emotions.

messy messy me.

feel better tho. not like at lunch, when i was feeling for pigeons.

you know i am having problems when i am feeling for gli ratiti d'cielo.

brother james is on.

I DUNNEEEED 'IM ANYMORE

SOMEONE'S KNOCKIN AT MY DOOR........

(take my hand you might as well

we're going straight to hell.)