2000-02-24

hi hi hi hi hi hello hi. soon, very soon, i will be having mediterranean snacks! the fact that these snacks are a not-so-clever disguise for a company meeting does nothing to discourage me! i will feast on pita and hummus! the delicate garlicky tingle of baba ghanoush shall be mine!

there is no topping a mediterranean snack!

etc.

i'm in a better mood today, obviously. i forced it upon myself, from the very outset. everything was, has been, is gearing toward going wrong, but i told myself not to care.

the neighbors in front made a racket leaving at 515 this morning.

i care not.

i woke up with a new, stiffer neck.

i care not.

i tore my contact in the lens case last night!

I CARE NOT.

i saw both muni trains clattering along in both directions at the bottom of the hill this morning, just as i walked out of my house, as usual. this meant a ten minute wait in the wind and rain!

i care not!

walking out of muni i reached for a much-desired cigaretter only to be struck with the miserable discovery that my statuesque muni-seat partner had had the good will to smash them all with his rather large anus!

i care NOT!!

i bought a double mocha to console myself. it came without my favorite whipped cream! which, in the long run, i cared not for, since i spilled 3/4ths of it all over my hands and coat as i walked the two blocks to my building. but, you guessed it....

I CARE NOT!

you see, a positive attitude overrides all. or something. i dunno. i really don't know.

my legs are all sore today from my walk yesterday, which makes me happy. i enjoy that feeling.

someone at work told me today that it was refreshing to deal with someone like me who "had their shit together".

i considered this statement, and it resolved my mood problem, for the meanwhile. i mean, i look at my brokeness yesterday and over the past few days... wouldn't this person be surprised at my total lack of shit-togetherness! and it occurred to me, that i don't think twice about keeping my shit together at work. i just do. i just DO IT, as quickly and correctly as possible.

so, i am capable of handling things. "things". why i always have to make myself so broken, or feel so broken, i dunno. maybe i am not broken, and just like to feel like i am. maybe i am really broken because i exacerbate the problems i have and over-fixate. maybe the rest of my life is so broken because the expectations of others in romance and friendship are never as clear-cut as project deadlines and quality assurance.

i wonder what would happen if people could generate bug-reports for my social interactions.

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Issue changed owner

- Owner Set To sn00t by Friend One on 02/24/2000 at 11:31PM.

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Fields

- Issue Id: BUG04811

- Project: All Relationships:Casual Interactions:Office

- State: New

- Title: Eye contact

- Description: conversation hangs indefinitely after mundane pleasantries. you continually fail to maintain eye contact when you speak to people. this weirds some people out. suggest learning to look people in the face when you are talking to them, not at the ceiling or down the street.

To view issue: http://mybrain.com

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it would, in the very least, be really helpful.