2000-02-04

well. its midnight. overall i had a good, but tiring day. i couldn't sleep in the least last night. i tossed and turned all night. oddly enough my project today was on sleep problems, and it seems i have restless leg syndrome. i kid you not. tho, i must say, i prefer less to think of it as some kind of chronic syndrome, and more an indication of the fact that sitting all day long at a computer, coming home and doing same, all while imbibing grotesquely large amounts of caffeine, PLUS the diet pills:: badbadbad. caffeine+immobility:: badbadbad. i can't ever sleep. its just as well. that is what weekends are for.

hmm. this morning skaterboy came over to drop off the stuff for ye olde skater zine website. he had vicious sore throat with what i may well term the MOST DISGUSTING white sores all over his tonsils. yucks. i went through the awwwyersickpoorbaby routine, and he seemed pleased. the letter i gave him and its contents went un-addressed. i walked with him to city college, took a look around. bleak, for the most part. the campus, i mean. well. that's mainly what i mean.

i dunno. for some weird reason he called me tonight to tell me he was going out of town this weekend and wouldn't be back until tuesday. which i thought was weird. like, if you were going to be IN the city, you wouldn't probably call/see me in that period of time any way. so why phone me up at eleven to tell me you just found out you were leaving at seven the next morning? like it matters, or something? like all of a sudden we're keeping tabs on each other?

whatever. i dunno. i have a headache and i am grouchy, for leg-ridden lack of sleep. i'm grouchy. yes. i am.

so hey. another weekend i get to spend doing a whole lotta nothing, which is good and bad. at the least i have the site to work on, which is more than i can say for myself usually. AND i don't have to spend the next five days wondering if skaterboy is going to call me, since its a guaranteed no. i suppose that is some sort of relief.

AGGGGGHHHHHH I DUNNO. this this this is not worth the fixation time i am giving it. it is so obviously lame. perhaps skaterboy and i can operate in a comfortable acquaintance mode, but im shizzy miserable with this setup as is. i realize i am not one for emotional consistency, but this boy is off the scale. YAH SURE DONT SEE ME FOR LIKE THREE WEEKS BUT MAKE ME THE GIRL YOU CALL BEFORE YOU LEAVE TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND??? GIVE ME JEALOUS THIRD DEGREES EVERYTIME I MENTION A BOY'S NAME???? GIVE ME HUGS AND TELL ME ITS BEEN TOO LONG??? THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT, ROCKO, AND ITS CALLED Y-O-U. YAH, ILL TRY NOT TO WORK TOO HARD TOMORROW. YAH MAYBE I WILL GET FUCKING DRUNK TOMORROW. YOU KNOW WHY?

CUZ. I. DONT. HAVE. ANYTHING. FUCKING. BETTER. TO. DO.

what fucking ever. world's-highest-ollie-it-up-your-ass, skaterboy, i say today.

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ugh. maybe this is just pent up sexual frustration.

i dunno.

maybe i am just frustrated in general for no good reason.

i think i just really need some sleep.

bleh.