2001-05-22

i am the world's gassiest person. i am.

i don't know why god has cursed me with Guts of Satanic Bubbledom, but he has, and i just can't seem to get the better of it. i'm not particularly STINKY, mind you. just loud. especially when i have fallen asleep at night. I HAVE FARTED SO LOUD THAT I HAVE WOKEN MYSELF UP!!!

yah. its horrible isn't it. *sigh*. as you can imagine, this must be incredibly pleasant for mike; and i would feel really sorry for him if he weren't chronically STINKY. silent, but stinky.

together we are a veritable flatulence parade.

my loud flatulence has been an issue. i get all embarrased and feel terrible about bringing such a state of gassy affairs upon whomever is (blessed? ill-fated?) enough to share my bed... but at a certain point it occurs to me that there isn't too much i can do about it, beyond certain dietary modifications. besides, everyone has there "this and thats" that are strange if not mildly discomfiting to someone else. i remember i had one boyfriend (who shall remain unnamed!) who used to get very dismayed at my Gassy Nature... yet he was prone to not flush the toilet after voiding his Earthly Bowels. after running into that a few times, i just stopped feeling so bad.

*sigh*.

so there you have it. i have butt burps on my mind. scatalogical sn00t... the best kind there is.