2000-04-19

more and more it seems to me that life is composed of one small fork in the basis of one's living.

one encounters living and experience. there is faltering, error and pain. one inevitably begins to lose faith in one's self.

in the course of subsequent encounter and experience, one finds the same faltering, error and pain imbued by, and experienced by, others. loss of faith in others is then inevitable as well.

at that juncture, what can you do? kill yourself, (slowly, or absolutely). or develop a belief in god.

its like we are forced, irrevocably, to either deny order or seize it and deify it.

either way we are pawns of something greater.