2001-06-15

i'm amazingly not hung over for all the beer i drank last night... went out with mike and his roommate and their friend that is in town.

nothing too exciting.

i think all mike's friends hate me. well. i guess i am just getting paranoid again. i just hate the way i can be when i am drunk. a real big mouth. yapping away at everyone.

mike was a little irritated at me yesterday. or i was a little irritated at him. who can tell. it was supposed to be a little qt time yesterday. but with the friends and all... eh, who knows. today he went to work early and will be there late... come over tired and grouchy and want to go to sleep.

and then tomorrow i will be hanging out by my lonesome. oh, by my lonesome. all by meself.

i've been popping those pills almost psychomaniacally. as i have said before, something is brewing underneath the surface. not sure what it is... if i am just nervous about the changes in life looming ahead... not sure if its mike or my relationship with him that i am worried about...

could be anything. could be nothing. not really sure.

maybe that's what i need. assurance. reassurance.

anything.