2000-02-18

i feel giddy and happy. like a little circus monkey... like the kind of circus monkey that wears a fez and knows how to pick pockets.

that's the kind of giddy, circus-monkey happy i feel today.

and i can't even really explain why!

it is, primarily, sunny out today! oh! the sun! the egyptians were so very very right. after weeks of seemingly neverending rain, SUN! BLUE SKY!

every morning i pull aside the curtain, before even getting out of bed, to check the the mood the weather will put me into that day! SUCCESS! HAPPINESS!

things last night with skaterboy were, well, really really nice. nothing exorbitently strange happened... we went to chinatown and had yums vegetarian chinese food. he brought me to china banks (i dunno why its called that), which is a large overpass right off of washington that apparently holds special "crazy beacon" powers for skaters with its sloped sides and concrete benches. "its world famous for skaters!"

well, imagine my honor! i sat and smoked a cigarette while he demonstrated to me exactly how one must maneuver the china banks! the daring! the thrill! the slaloming! the (apparent to me) risk of falling off the side into the traffic below! the potential for intense brain trauma! but whatever....

it was the first time i have ever seen him skate, and he. just. looked. so. rad.

he took some pictures with the camera, which he has decided needs to be lugged around in the yellow submarine lunchbox which was its gift box... and he kept the card i wrote for him in there, which was cool. =)

i actually wore a skirt yesterday! i was such a girl! this was reiterated by the fact that three times throughout the conversation he reminded me i was a "girlie", but whatever, i suppose that's what i was in the mood for. (its nice, every once in a while, to remind myself and the world that i could be really girlie if i wanted to be. which, i guess, 99% of the time i don't).

he even kept offering me his sweatshirt! i'm such an idiot. i should have taken it. you know, take the sweatshirt, wear it to school the next day, and EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE GOING TOGETHER!

hah.

i laugh, but that's kinda the way all this feels. that's the way interacting with him feels, lately, every time i talk to him on the phone, or hang out with him. it feels like high school. it's shy flirting and boy and girl roles. its like all the sex was just erased.

its really really weird.

for the most part, i think it's better. untamed libidinal influences aside, it feels, i dunno... like its not all going to fall apart real fast. or like, its not just drunk and sex, you know? like its more stable or something. like its a helluva lot less dysfunctional.

which is usually the way i take it/make it/like it.

but i must like this too, or else i wouldn't be in such a good mood, now would i.....