2000-03-31

ahhhh. friday.

it is so summery out. i should be outside. i should. but i am not.

not yet.

DREAMS. dreams tell you about everything going on inside you.

after the stresses of yesterday, i was laying in bed not falling asleep so i did what i always do when that happens:: i recited the lovesong of j. alfred prufrock. i memorized the poem about four years ago, and run through it periodically, to make sure i haven't forgotten anything. its grand. i can even do it when i am tripping!

but i digress.

so last night, i recite and promptly fall into stone cold slumber, very deep sleep and dreamt the dreams of a thousand men.

well. dreamt the dreams of one riled up 24-year-old dot-commie gurl trying to put her stupid life in order.

i dreamt about xsl, xml and bugs, naturally. i dreamt about office intrigues and issues that have been swimming around me for the past week or so... all the tension stuff that has been kinda difficult to deal with on top of everything else.

and of course i dreamed about skaterboy, and skaterboy, and sex with skaterboy.

he was married and had the most adorable kids ever.

he and i were having lots and lots and lots of sex. it wasn't getting me turned on in my sleep, so i think it was symbolic of some sort.... but i dunno what it meant... i remember i kept saying "shit. you're married. your kids are so cute.". i was worried about the fact that we were fucking in his house with his whole family wandering around. he would just shrug and say "i can't stop fucking you."

WEIRD>WEIRD>WEIRD.

i wonder what in the hell it all means. *sigh* i guess that i am stressed out and libidinous and have alot of goop welled up inside.

but today is SOOOO MUCH BETTER than the past few days, mainly since most of the site is over and done and today is spent sitting around waiting for things to break.

optimism returns.

got a call from the skate zine guy who got all the shit i sent him and said he was going to the library today to check out the site. i look forward to hearing what he has to say.

it is summer out... i think i will go and lay in the sun, think about my dreams and try to figure it all out... i will report back later. =)