2000-01-23

1122am on sunday. its cold and rainy and grey as all hell. (i thought i should mention that. all the east coast diaries are rambling about weather, i can too). i'm laying in bed, listening to pbs nature ramblings about how horses are helping ex-gang members reform their lives, and how some old british woman collects orangutang (sp: poor) dung in the rainforest.

there isn't much going on.

i have been sober for the past two days, and its wearing a bit thin already. not to mention that i was outragreously wholesome yesterday and did laundry and cleaned for the first time in months. this morning i was woken up at nine by groceries from peapod. unfortunately i now have about 100 dollars worth of organic food that i will probably never eat. moral of that story is never go crazy with online groceries when in a passing fancy of healthiness.

i wish i had $100 worth of beer instead. what the fuck am i going to do with shitake mushrooms? i can't cook for hell. i don't know who i was trying to kid yesterday.

to top it all off, i called skaterboy yesterday around five to invite him to come to dinner tonight. the overriding excuse was that i start my "new" job tomorrow, and he starts two new classes and boy wouldn't it be great to stuff ourselves silly and drink alot of wine and then wrench away the last remains of all my sexual frustration.

i still haven't heard from him, maybe such things are not good ideas to him. oh well. i dunno. i don't think he is so hot on me, but i don't know yet how good or bad that is. in order to discern something like that i would have to know what i would want. which i don't, as usual.

courtesy pbs: slugs have the most effective lubricant on earth. eeeew.

so, yeah. i dunno. sposed to go see an apartment in berkeley, supposed to hang out with alex, supposed to hang with my brother, all that. i pretty much just feel like sleeping.

at the most, i will go out and buy smokes and some beer. i'm getting drunk as fuck tonight, and that's all there is to it.