2000-02-08

at work. nothing to do today. shouldn't have come in... could have spent the day in bed. but i am afraid i would have been even more bored there. at least here there are people around, for better or worse.

got the lomo today. which is cool. skaterboy is back today... said he would call this evening. and i don't really want him to, in light of things. i get that sick feeling in my stomach. cuz i know i will answer the phone tonight. or even if i don't, and if he calls, i will call him back. i can't help myself. cuz i want to see him.

but then i will be weird. i'll be real weird. i will try to just be quiet and let him talk the most. but it won't work. i will be weird. my sentences will be choppy. i will feel depressed and fill the room with mood. and he'll be confused.

maybe he won't call at all.

but i don't want that either. i don't know what i want.

i'm just tired, i think. i wish it were the weekend. so i could sleep for two days and not have to worry about showing my face anywhere. that would be nice right about now.